I am a Black, gay, Jewish man. All my life those have been the main points of identification. Once people get to know me, they really notice “how gay I am” and that I am “so fruity, I’m a smoothie.” I have never actually enjoyed being called fruity. I have never liked being categorized like that. It made me feel like I wasn’t a real person or that I had to live up to something just because I am attracted to men. In these public spaces to get the message across that I wasn’t “a threat” I would act more “fruity.” This allowed me to seem more personable or welcoming to others. This also allowed for people to berate me with these names.
